Granny, we did it!!

I feel a overwhelming sadness when I think about how you are not going to be watching me walk across the stage in just a few weeks. Our goal we started years ago has come to an end. I know how proud you were of me, and I know how proud you would have been. I finished my last class just hours ago, but what do I do now? You would have been the one that I called to ask. I miss hearing your voice, and reassurance. You always knew just what to say exactly when I needed it. I look back over the last few months you were here.

I am saddened when I think of the times you would call so early in the morning just to talk or check on me. I would look at the phone and tell myself I would talk to you later. Why would I not get up and talk to you? You were always there when I called. Now the phone will never say Granny again. I miss you so much! I am unable to sleep because for the first time in my life, I don't know what to do! You are not here to guide me and tell me what I should do. Everyone tells me that I am strong, but my strength came from you. When will I stop picking the phone up to call you? When will it stop hurting? Will the hole ever get smaller? You weren't suppose to go, you weren't suppose to go yet, not yet!

Granny, to hear your voice again..... to hear you say, "Kristi, it's Granny." as if I did know. To hear you tell me how proud you are of me. Just one more Granny hug was all I wanted. To feel you frail arms wrap around me. To hear your rings clink together because they were to big. To call you after the A&M, t.u. game.

I miss you so much each and every day. You were my counselor, the person that would tell me the truth no matter if it hurt or not. The one that no matter what I did or said, you always made sure I knew you loved me unconditionally.

I will always treasure our conversations on my way to school, and even though the miles separated up physically I could always feel your love. Granny, we did it, we finished school. From one graduation to another!

Almost Over, and then I can sleep!

We went to Galveston last week to help Sean's mom move, and finish my Ceramics classes. It was a crazy week. We got there on Thursday and dropped my fish and cups off to be bisque fired. Friday, I spent all day in the library doing research and printing stuff off for a major paper I have. Saturday we helped Sean's mom move and clean her old apartment. Sunday, I spent all day at school under glazing the fish and glazing the cups. Monday, another all day affair at school. It was better because I was able to Raku fire all my pieces. Tuesday morning we got up at 6 am so we could be at school by 7:30 to see if my professor would do my critique. Come to find out they moved class from 8 to 8:45 this semester. I finally got my critique done about 10, and we were on our way home. We stayed the extra day so I didn't have to make the 4 hour trip again before graduation. I think I made an "A" in both of my ceramics classes.

Since we have been home I have been at the computer. My legs hurt right behind my knees when I sat down this morning. I think they were telling me I had been sitting in this chair for way too long. I think I have maybe had a total of 20 hours of sleep in the past two weeks.

I have been working on a research paper about college abandonment versus graduation attainment that was due yesterday. The professor gave me a 24 hour extension because my computer was as tired as I was. It kept freezing on me when I would try to save the work I had done. Doing something you don't want to do 4 and 5 times gets old fast. I will be glad when it is done and turned in. I was able to finish and submit my PowerPoint presentation on time.

When I was reading some of the information, I realized that right now that my education will come to a stop in just a few days. I'm not sure what to feel. I am excited that I will be done, but sadden that it is over. I would like to get my Master's, but not in Math. I don't know the first thing about applying to a Master's program. Where do I go now? What will I do? Will I find a job? I'm not a frightful as I think I would have been at 22 or 23. We will see.

After I turn this paper in, I have another 6-8 page research paper due in 2 days. Good news is I can sleep in three days! Break is over, back to the paper.

Graduation

Graduation is finally here, well in about a month! It is a time for reflection, tears and joy.

My grandmother passed away on February 12, 2009. It was very hard on me because I would call her at least once a week on my drive to school. She was always pushing me to do better and telling me I could do it. I noticed how my grades improved because she would always ask me how they were. If it was around midterms or finals, and I ha not called her, she would call me. She was a huge part of my education, and I knew that I had to finish or deal with her. Now, she is gone!

This semester, has been the hardest one of all. Right before my grandmother took a turn for the worst, my best friend was rushed to the ER with three, yes three, blood clots in her lung. She had stopped breathing before the ambulance got there. She has two small children that I have been helping her take care of. She was on the road to recovery when she fell and hurt her back. About a month ago, she got a call that her mother was deathly ill, and they didn't know how long she had. Besides her kids, her mother is her life. I picked up the pieces, and her mother is doing better. This was as of a week ago.

With everything going on and still trying to deal with my grandmother's passing, I have fallen behind in my classes. I cannot drop because then I won't finish. If I don't graduate this semester, I am done with school for good! However, I did get some great news today!!!!

I have been worried about these two classes I am taking. This semester I had to take 15 hours all online. The first 8 wk class I managed to make an A! I was looking online at my grades, and found that a class I dropped because of Ike was not dropped. It was showing up as an F, and therefore lowering my GPA. I just got a call from the school and was told that it had slipped through the cracks, and would be fixed by tomorrow. This meant that in the two classes I was worried about, as long as I don't fail them, it doesn't matter what I get in them. I will still graduate!

A huge stress has been lifted, and GOD is so good! Granny, I'm going to finish! Also, my mother has really come through for me this semester. Mom, thanks for your help, and I can think of at least on happy memory!(I know there have been more and I do remember some) Thank you and there are no words to let you know how much it means to me for the help!

I AM GRADUATING FROM UHCL WITH WITH A BACHELOR OF ARTS IN MATHEMATICAL SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update

Well finals are here, and nothing has gotten better.

My grandmother has been in the hospital for about a week now. She had a PET Scan done earlier this month. She went to the doctor for some anxiety pills, and the nurse said they had the results from the scan. There were several spots that showed up in differnt parts of her body. They were concerned that she is now down to only 87 lbs, and is in so much pain. So, they admitted her to the hospital. They did a biopsy of her lung on Monday. That night they had to take her back in because her lung had collapsed. Tuesday they came in and told my aunt that they weren't able to get the spot they needed, and needed another shot. Tuesday they took her in and tried again. They had to take her in once again Tuesday night because her lung started to leak again. Wednesday they said they were able to get the spot they needed, and we should have the results either today or tomorrow.

I have fallen far behind since I have not been able to focus from the events of this last week. Finals are next week, and I am really only worried about one class. History of Matematical Science. It is more of a history class because of all the reading, and memorization I have to do. There are very few acutal math problems on the test. We only have 3 grades in there, 2 tests and a paper. First test a 70, I think he felt sorry for me!

I had to go back to work at Fisherman's Wharf. My body was not happy at all when I started back last weekend. I am working Friday and Saturday nights, and Sunday mornings. This will change when the Fall semester gets here. I will be in school Monday-Friday.

One day at a time! One hour at a time! One class at a time! 10 MONTHS LEFT AND I WILL BE DONE WITH SCHOOL, for a while.